Image: _Odds*_, Graphite, colored pencil, and watercolor on paper. Courtesy of the artist and Artist of the Month Club. 2008. *#dancolenfail

1. @jmatthewriva you are awake, and i’m finished#areyouamonster?Fri Sep 10 2010 04:19:41 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jmatthewriva

2. Phillips de Pury Limps to the Finish With a $7 Million Totalhttp://nyti.ms/cILeI1so #carolvogel can write auctions and influence them?Fri Sep 10 2010 04:18:13 (EDT) via TweetDeck

3. Art Prices (and Mood) Inch Back Uphttp://nyti.ms/9z6dpe#carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 04:16:26 (EDT) via TweetDeck

4. Phillips de Pury Limps to the Finish With a $7 Million Totalhttp://nyti.ms/cILeI1 #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 04:12:03 (EDT) via TweetDeck

5. xArt Prices (and Mood) Inch Back Up http://nyti.ms/9z6dpe#carolvoegel reporter, telling you what the art world buys like#dan colenFri Sep 10 2010 04:07:50 (EDT) via TweetDeck

6. Bronzino Is Given His Museum Moment http://nyti.ms/dx0tLI#carolvogel not @bravotv you fucking leechwhoreFri Sep 10 2010 04:06:23 (EDT) via TweetDeck

7. Playing Sculpture ‘I Spy’ in New York’s Cityscapehttp://nyti.ms/briYiBFri Sep 10 2010 04:04:59 (EDT) via TweetDeck

8. @jmatthewriva I am trying to unperplex, resolve the paradoxes, expect I’m a fucking idiot and that’s impossible. good luck with ur monsterFri Sep 10 2010 04:04:01 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jmatthewriva

9. New Prize To Honor Artists Under 35 ,http://bit.ly/cjWuq6#carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 04:00:54 (EDT) via TweetDeck

10. A Record for Rembrandt http://nyti.ms/btbF5Y #carolvogel#recordFri Sep 10 2010 03:58:16 (EDT) via TweetDeck

11. Playing Sculpture ‘I Spy’ in New York’s Cityscapehttp://nyti.ms/briYiB #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 03:57:07 (EDT) via TweetDeck

12. New Prize To Honor Artists Under 35 “the Jesus Award”http://bit.ly/cjWuq6 #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:56:26 (EDT) via TweetDeck

13. @jmatthewriva Go way back. This is about #carolvogelsucking #gagosian cockFri Sep 10 2010 03:55:11 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jmatthewriva

14. What Gagosian wants “A Record for Rembrandt” or Colenhttp://nyti.ms/btbF5Y #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:54:09 (EDT) via TweetDeck

15. $13.5. Million for Self-Portrait http://nyti.ms/93ESM3 if that doesn’t suck, well you got #vogeledFri Sep 10 2010 03:52:47 (EDT) via TweetDeck

16. Reality Leaves a Fingerprint on the Biennialhttp://nyti.ms/aipMPR #carolvogel doesnt review shows, she re-reads press releasesFri Sep 10 2010 03:51:13 (EDT) via TweetDeck

17. “hey man, i think you got vogeled on that deal."Fri Sep 10 2010 03:49:47 (EDT) via TweetDeck

18. Armory Shows Imperiled, While Other Fairs Adjusthttp://nyti.ms/aQ1FBB #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:48:32 (EDT) via TweetDeck

19. Casino Chief Is Said to Be Rembrandt’s New Ownerhttp://bit.ly/9V3Gf6 #carolvogel who could forget this.#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 03:47:52 (EDT) via TweetDeck

20. @AntiPainter I drank the wat\er and bathed in #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:46:28 (EDT) via TweetDeck

21. New hashtag for calling bullshit #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:45:25 (EDT) via TweetDeck

22. Casino Chief Is Said to Be Rembrandt’s New Ownerhttp://bit.ly/9V3Gf6 #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:44:55 (EDT) via TweetDeck

23. Sometimes #carolvogel compiles things…I will skip them. and fuck you #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 03:43:40 (EDT) via TweetDeck

24. @PAPILLIONART you can go to bed.Fri Sep 10 2010 03:42:30 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to PAPILLIONART

25. ARTS, BRIEFLY; Michael Jackson Tribute Has Been Canceled She loves pop http://bit.ly/ah3b4W #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:42:15 (EDT) via TweetDeck

26. @FakeGagosian I give you this … ARTS, BRIEFLY; Contract for Theater Service Workershttp://bit.ly/9plVnU #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:41:31 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to FakeGagosian

27. @rachelmatos his work is awful. Please feel free to repsond with your analysis. #colenblowsFri Sep 10 2010 03:39:54 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to rachelmatos

28. Back to my dismantaling of #carolvogel When Famous Owners Sell Famous Paintings http://nyti.ms/94ldHp #carolvogelwhen you #failFri Sep 10 2010 03:38:19 (EDT) via TweetDeck

29. @FakeGagosian how’s the humidity in hell?Fri Sep 10 2010 03:36:17 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to FakeGagosian

30. Soon You Can Hail an Artist as You Hail a Cabhttp://nyti.ms/9pIXEy Soon you can hail #carolvogel to write your featureFri Sep 10 2010 03:33:59 (EDT) via TweetDeck

31. Getty Museum Director to Leave Post This Monthhttp://nyti.ms/9FWTFO #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 03:32:25 (EDT) via TweetDeck

32. In Los Angeles, an Urge to Purgehttp://nyti.ms/bTwZkr#carolvogel #dancolen sounds right #holegalleryFri Sep 10 2010 03:31:22 (EDT) via TweetDeck

33. A Lady, Not by Leonardo, Retains an Expensive Allure not#dancolen http://nyti.ms/bhs22B #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:29:55 (EDT) via TweetDeck

34. ARTS, BRIEFLY; New Chief To Be Named For Los Angeles Museum http://bit.ly/9nK39H #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:29:06 (EDT) via TweetDeck

35. Los Angeles Museum Taps Dealer as Directorhttp://nyti.ms/aimE4P #carolvogel #failFri Sep 10 2010 03:28:28 (EDT) via TweetDeck

36. Bringing Some Whimsy to Construction Siteshttp://nyti.ms/cZGq5O #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:27:34 (EDT) via TweetDeck

37. Metropolitan Museum Finds a Bald Manhttp://nyti.ms/c9XvkO #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 03:26:55 (EDT) via TweetDeck

38. got shut down, for awhile. 3:25 amFri Sep 10 2010 03:25:58 (EDT) via TweetDeck

39. oh, am I free? No, 2:17amFri Sep 10 2010 03:24:05 (EDT) via TweetDeck

40. Woman Collides With a Picasso http://nyti.ms/9DHWuj#carolvogel #value? A critic collides with a shitty artist?#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:46:59 (EDT) via TweetDeck

41. @jaschaffer I’m ruining this thing to say something about it. This is not funny. It is awful. #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:45:30 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jaschaffer

42. Questions Over Fixing Torn Picasso http://nyti.ms/b3TQ9V I have questions over fixing a torn #dancolen at #gagosianFri Sep 10 2010 01:44:11 (EDT) via TweetDeck

43. @jaschaffer there only a few #instances available. For the rest, no rest.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:41:24 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jaschaffer

44. @j_d_hastings you are smart. Go unpack #dancolen#gagosian #carolvogel #nytimes #thefixisin #burnitFri Sep 10 2010 01:40:42 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to j_d_hastings

45. @powhidaAsst You go in there and say “I am carrying gold. GOLD!” and show that shit to whatever proxy steps up#gogoisinparisFri Sep 10 2010 01:37:45 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to powhidaAsst

46. @marzkim I have two consciences. We can’t say who you are talking to. I can’t. He won’t.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:35:50 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to marzkim

47. @powhidaAsst you know we are sending them to our mole in LA. #gogoFri Sep 10 2010 01:33:22 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to powhidaAsst

48. @jaschaffer Just know she is reporter doing Gagosian’s press for #dancolen. She writes about a living artist once in a hundred….Fri Sep 10 2010 01:31:48 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jaschaffer

49. Mona Lisa She Is Not, but Coveted Nonethelesshttp://nyti.ms/cFErEh #carolvogel er, #dancolen?Fri Sep 10 2010 01:30:31 (EDT) via TweetDeck

50. At London Sale, a Giacometti Sets a Recordhttp://nyti.ms/9rXMBu #carolvogel she must be stoppedFri Sep 10 2010 01:29:43 (EDT) via TweetDeck

51. @jaschaffer Carol Vogel shouldn’t be writing the press release for Gagosian in the NY Times. I aim to show why.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:27:14 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to jaschaffer

52. At London Sale, a Giacometti Sets a Recordhttp://nyti.ms/9rXMBu #carolvogel is helping Gagosian get#dancolen thereFri Sep 10 2010 01:26:25 (EDT) via TweetDeck

53. INSIDE ART; O! Say, You Can Bid On a Johnshttp://bit.ly/dinwv0 #carolvogel art reporter #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:25:38 (EDT) via TweetDeck

54. Anyway, more #carolvogel From That Instant Thrill, Enduring Art, Now for Sale http://nyti.ms/9MB1HMFri Sep 10 2010 01:24:48 (EDT) via TweetDeck

55. I whored myself a bit tonight. Team Gallery and Winkleman. the last was a closing. #3showsFri Sep 10 2010 01:24:11 (EDT) via TweetDeck

56. So, if you’re just coming back from whoring yourself at openings. I mean to discredit #carolvogel and her bit on#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:23:28 (EDT) via TweetDeck

57. @powhidaAsst Read the Times. Man, you are failing. Its about#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:22:25 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to powhidaAsst

58. @marzkim they should make you want to get gasoline, a knife, some rope, and a map of New York.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:20:41 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to marzkim

59. See It, Feel It, Touch It, Climb It http://nyti.ms/bPFy4C Oh#carolvogel is this what you want to really say about#dancolen? I think soFri Sep 10 2010 01:19:35 (EDT) via TweetDeck

60. The Torrent That Flowed in Picasso’s Final Yearshttp://nyti.ms/azvACb #carolvogel still connecting Picasso with #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:18:41 (EDT) via TweetDeck

61. @powhidaAsst Carol Vogel: an art world ass hugger.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:15:22 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to powhidaAsst

62. Carol Vogel should not be writing about a living artist for a blue chip gallery period. PERIOD. We fucking #FAILFri Sep 10 2010 01:12:05 (EDT) via TweetDeck

63. @powhidaAsst Start spamming the world with the last#carolvogel articles you can find. I’m on page 8 of search returns.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:10:24 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to powhidaAsst

64. The Torrent That Flowed in Picasso’s Final Yearshttp://nyti.ms/azvACb mmm, really? #carolvogel from Picasso to #dancolen for eternityFri Sep 10 2010 01:09:13 (EDT) via TweetDeck

65. INSIDE ART; Blinky Palermo’s American Tourhttp://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9906EEDF103EF935A15751C0A9669D8B63&ref=carol_vogelFri Sep 10 2010 01:08:17 (EDT) via TweetDeck

66. Met Show Completes Its Set of Bronzinoshttp://nyti.ms/cBy9yb #carolvogel also writes about#dancolen today.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:06:59 (EDT) via TweetDeck

67. @artbystander you are in my way. #ragenotangerFri Sep 10 2010 01:06:15 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artbystander

68. Christie’s Wins Bid to Auction $150 Million Brody Collectionhttp://nyti.ms/90xBd3 #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:05:47 (EDT) via TweetDeck

69. @artbystander step down from the ladder my friend. Time is short. You know where to go. It’s not there.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:04:34 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artbystander

70. Just in case anyone missed she basically reports on art news and auctions. Maybe #Dancolen is a fucking product worthy of her words….Fri Sep 10 2010 01:03:07 (EDT) via TweetDeck

71. Back to my assault on Carol Vogel’s integrity. She should not be Gagosian’s PR whorelet. Not now, not ever. #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 01:02:22 (EDT) via TweetDeck

72. @artbystander We’ve never been in a club. Seriously. Shitty bars, yes. Club? No.Fri Sep 10 2010 01:01:09 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artbystander

73. Met Show Completes Its Set of Bronzinoshttp://nyti.ms/cBy9yb #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 01:00:03 (EDT) via TweetDeck

74. Christie’s Wins Bid to Auction $150 Million Brody Collectionhttp://nyti.ms/90xBd3 oh#carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:59:07 (EDT) via TweetDeck

75. INSIDE ART; A U.S. Moment For Yves Kleinhttp://bit.ly/bgxzUF #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:58:23 (EDT) via TweetDeck

76. Maastricht Treasure Hunt Lures Collectorshttp://nyti.ms/bT4sD3 #carolvogel Not a Colen hunt?Fri Sep 10 2010 00:57:56 (EDT) via TweetDeck

77. @artbystander you’re one of the angriest people I know.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:57:06 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artbystander

78. @artbystander My anger is like your food. Right now, it fuels a close look at how awful art can be. #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:53:55 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artbystander

79. Ok, drunkheads. Hope you had a good night. Carol Vogel annointed Dan Colen with a NY Times feature. Just showing what she does normally.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:50:39 (EDT) via TweetDeck

80. MUSEUMS SPECIAL SECTION; The New Guard Steps Uphttp://bit.ly/cFN2sF and critics like #carolvogel don’t.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:49:34 (EDT) via TweetDeck

81. wow. Lloyd Webber’s Picasso Finally Set for Auctionhttp://nyti.ms/9DusdH #carolvogel maintains auction values#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:48:57 (EDT) via TweetDeck

82. What would Phillip say? A Conversation With Philippe de Montebello http://nyti.ms/cebMmr #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:48:17 (EDT) via TweetDeck

83. Planting a Johns ‘Flag’ in a Private Collection er, planting#dancolen in #gagosion http://nyti.ms/a6lZ6aFri Sep 10 2010 00:47:36 (EDT) via TweetDeck

84. Interlopers on the Skyline http://nyti.ms/9qDoJQ #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:46:57 (EDT) via TweetDeck

85. J. M. W. Turner’s Last Rome Painting to Be Soldhttp://nyti.ms/9keYXf #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:44:38 (EDT) via TweetDeck

86. Rothko play review 2-Man Cast Shares Stage With a Vivid Character http://nyti.ms/bE9Dbo #carolvogel harsh critic#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:44:02 (EDT) via TweetDeck

87. INSIDE ART; Two Top Galleries Are One No More #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:43:01 (EDT) via TweetDeck

88. Met Will Finally Show a Picasso He Disownedhttp://nyti.ms/dl1bF9 #carolvogel writes about picasso alot. Now #dancolen!!! amazingFri Sep 10 2010 00:40:50 (EDT) via TweetDeck

89. oooh, juicy Rift in Family as Whitney Plans a Second Homehttp://nyti.ms/bkaOwX #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:40:04 (EDT) via TweetDeck

90. Whitney Heads for the High Line http://nyti.ms/9y5Bml And more #carolvogel in depth reportingFri Sep 10 2010 00:39:21 (EDT) via TweetDeck

91. After Repairs, a Picasso Returns http://nyti.ms/bpYtWX.#carolvogel That’s just crazy. Tell me more about Dan Colen. He’s like Picasso..Fri Sep 10 2010 00:38:23 (EDT) via TweetDeck

92. A Jungle of Bamboo Is Growing Atop the Methttp://nyti.ms/b75UJL it’s not a review of a beloved piece, just press. #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:37:29 (EDT) via TweetDeck

93. A Late Picasso Goes to Auction http://nyti.ms/9L7lEh did anyone have to write that? #carolvogel did. #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:36:18 (EDT) via TweetDeck

94. Tweaking a Name in Long Island City http://nyti.ms/9kqGYtoh, rebranding #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:35:32 (EDT) via TweetDeck

95. @black_von If I drew all the back doors, you wouldn’t be able to see the ground…Fri Sep 10 2010 00:34:49 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to black_von

96. @Stottle There’s millions of dollars that make what I think and what you think about Colen’s work fucking irrelavent.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:34:13 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to Stottle

97. The Blue-Chip Period http://bit.ly/bD5Qbn #carolvogel this is may favorite title yetFri Sep 10 2010 00:32:13 (EDT) via TweetDeck

98. At $106.5 Million, a Picasso Sets an Auction Recordhttp://nyti.ms/8Y4EpY #carolvogel i feel sickFri Sep 10 2010 00:31:21 (EDT) via TweetDeck

99. ARTSBEAT; A More Sober Follow-Up To a Record Auction Night http://bit.ly/bVFd25 #carolvogel you are #dancolen’s auction dateFri Sep 10 2010 00:30:46 (EDT) via TweetDeck

100. Emily Fisher Landau Pledges 367 Artworks to Whitneyhttp://nyti.ms/9MeWb0 #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:30:04 (EDT) via TweetDeck

101. Who loves an auction star? Manet Self-Portrait: New Star on the Block http://bit.ly/bggSxI #carolvogel does and she’s making one #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:29:34 (EDT) via TweetDeck

102. Aw sweet. At the Morgan, Gently Restoring A Treasure-Filled Building http://bit.ly/coZ8na #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:28:43 (EDT) via TweetDeck

103. At Christie’s, a $28.6 Million Bid Sets a Record for Johnshttp://bit.ly/d9bgUw #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:28:04 (EDT) via TweetDeck

104. @black_von he did The Nest with his dead friend at Deitch.#hegotofftheshitFri Sep 10 2010 00:27:39 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to black_von

105. Do you get what she does? At Christie’s, a $28.6 Million Bid Sets a Record for Johns http://bit.ly/d9bgUw #carolvogel#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:26:37 (EDT) via TweetDeck

106. Warhol and Rothko Lead a Big Night at Sotheby’shttp://nyti.ms/bO3GnO #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:25:56 (EDT) via TweetDeck

107. Art Auction Highlights a Financial Downfallhttp://nyti.ms/aftUPC Why is she allowed to write about#dancolen? #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:25:28 (EDT) via TweetDeck

108. INSIDE ART; Matthew Barney Series Now Has Two Homes Shocker. http://bit.ly/aRdx4L #carolvogel isn’t annointing#dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:24:42 (EDT) via TweetDeck

109. The Ocean Blue as Art Abstract museum reporting…http://nyti.ms/cGU4hy #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:23:54 (EDT) via TweetDeck

110. @BLDProject sorry.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:23:04 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to BLDProject

111. more reporting Motion Against Gallery Is Rejectedhttp://nyti.ms/atCOrB #carolvogel #nytimesFri Sep 10 2010 00:22:45 (EDT) via TweetDeck

112. @artlthr this is for everyone who thinks Gagosian is full of shit.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:22:14 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artlthr

113. On (Surprisingly Quiet) Parisian Night, a Picasso and a Matisse Go Out the Window more from the auction househttp://nyti.ms/d7ZebK #vogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:20:41 (EDT) via TweetDeck

114. @BLDProject you’re a bot or an idiot.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:19:17 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to BLDProject

115. No, seriously… Michael Jackson Sleepover Tributehttp://nyti.ms/984SIZ #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:18:46 (EDT) via TweetDeck

116. Now, back to Carol Vogel, taste maker Lohan Avoids Arresthttp://nyti.ms/cdzFj7Fri Sep 10 2010 00:18:09 (EDT) via TweetDeck

117. @artlthr I have to do this. #dancolen is the worst thing about the art world and this article is the artworld at its worst.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:17:40 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to artlthr

118. Serious criticism U2 Tour Thrown Off By Injury To Bonohttp://nyti.ms/du6ftO #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:16:18 (EDT) via TweetDeck

119. Whitney Museum Plans New Building Downtownhttp://nyti.ms/dlQ1YS #carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:15:35 (EDT) via TweetDeck

120. But, this is about Carol Vogel writing a #nytimes press release for #gagosian gallery.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:15:07 (EDT) via TweetDeck

121. I hate Dan Colen btw, worst artist of the aughts. Gagosian?! The silver man fucked up this time.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:14:11 (EDT) via TweetDeck

122. Funny. Phillips de Pury Wants to Make a Big Splashhttp://nyti.ms/cAP8yS #carolvogel is the only way #dancolenmakes the NYTIMESFri Sep 10 2010 00:13:13 (EDT) via TweetDeck

123. @hydeordie Carol Vogel, the art world reporter, wrote a feature on Dan Colen. Fuck this shit. She’s not a critic. This is an inside job.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:12:29 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to hydeordie

124. Really?? Christie’s Alters Gallery Managementhttp://nyti.ms/b6w1t8 And Carol Vogel can write about an artist? #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:11:45 (EDT) via TweetDeck

125. Lehman Plans Auction of Its Modern Artworkshttp://nyti.ms/adnheN and Gagosian’s collectors plan auction of #dancolen Saturday.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:11:00 (EDT) via TweetDeck

126. Enclosing a Frick Portico Would Create a Galleryhttp://nyti.ms/aTdIWd Way better story than #dancolen#carolvogelFri Sep 10 2010 00:10:17 (EDT) via TweetDeck

127. reporter. Guggenheim and YouTube Seek Budding Video Artists http://nyti.ms/97JO28 #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:09:29 (EDT) via TweetDeck

128. !!! Business Is Brisk at Basel Art Fair http://nyti.ms/bbqnQY#carolvogel #dancolen and business will be frisk at Gagosian.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:08:49 (EDT) via TweetDeck

129. Even for Picasso, Bidding Stays Cautious in London Auctionshttp://bit.ly/duDRNy #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:07:08 (EDT) via TweetDeck

130. So why is Carol Vogel really featuring Dan Colen? The art world is transparent.Fri Sep 10 2010 00:06:32 (EDT) via TweetDeck

131. It’s back ARTS, BRIEFLY; Getty Buys Turner’s ‘Modern Rome’ For $44.9. Million http://bit.ly/acpl91#carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:05:12 (EDT) via TweetDeck

132. I’ll wait. #fuckyou #NYtimesFri Sep 10 2010 00:03:47 (EDT) via TweetDeck

133. http://nyti.ms/dAJFUZ The Carol Vogel search feed just stopped returning results. If you can get them, post them,Fri Sep 10 2010 00:02:01 (EDT) via TweetDeck

134. Manet Self-Portrait Sells at Low End of Estimates at Sotheby’shttp://nyti.ms/a4wGH3 #carolvogel #dancolenFri Sep 10 2010 00:00:18 (EDT) via TweetDeck

135. @Stottle It’s not a review its an auction booster #carolvogelNow go read the NY TimesThu Sep 09 2010 23:59:53 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to Stottle

136. Auctions! Even for Picasso, Bidding Stays Cautious in London Auctions http://nyti.ms/cJG7OF #carolvogel loves #gagosianloves #dancolenThu Sep 09 2010 23:59:10 (EDT) via TweetDeck

137. @JHerbertArtist One thing at a time. This one has me apopleptic.Thu Sep 09 2010 23:58:24 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to JHerbertArtist

138. more reporting Jean Nouvel and Wolfgang Tillmans at Serpentine http://nyti.ms/dBo30F #carolvogel #dancolen#gagosianThu Sep 09 2010 23:57:07 (EDT) via TweetDeck

139. Saatchi Says He’ll Give Britain His Gallery and Over $37 Million in Art http://bit.ly/az4SmD #carolvogel #dancolen #gagosianThu Sep 09 2010 23:56:24 (EDT) via TweetDeck

140. INSIDE ART; Picasso Show In London Is a Family Affair (you think?) http://nyti.ms/cJG7OF #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:55:52 (EDT) via TweetDeck

141. ARTS, BRIEFLY; Getty Buys Turner’s ‘Modern Rome’ For $44.9. Million http://bit.ly/acpl91 #carolvogel #dancolenThu Sep 09 2010 23:55:10 (EDT) via TweetDeck

142. Well, she took a stab at Matisse…INSIDE ART; Fresh Perspective On Familiar Pop Master http://bit.ly/bF7N58 oh the inside #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:54:34 (EDT) via TweetDeck

143. Electronic Insights Into Matisse’s Techniquehttp://nyti.ms/bFU3uE #carolvogel #nytimesThu Sep 09 2010 23:53:21 (EDT) via TweetDeck

144. INSIDE ART; Cartoons Are Invading the Upper East Sidehttp://bit.ly/b2aYqu #carolvogel #dancolenThu Sep 09 2010 23:52:48 (EDT) via TweetDeck

145. I’m going to spend the next few hours reposting all of#carolvogel’s articles to remind you she’s a high profile gossip columnist for Art.Thu Sep 09 2010 23:51:41 (EDT) via TweetDeck

146. So Carol Vogel is the only hack at the #nytimes that Gagosian could get to feature Dan Colen. This feature is worse than mine.Thu Sep 09 2010 23:51:00 (EDT) via TweetDeck

147. Jury Selected for YouTube Play Videos http://nyti.ms/bn44d2#carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:49:15 (EDT) via TweetDeck

148. A Town House for ‘Hedda Gabler’ http://nyti.ms/aqYpEb#carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:48:50 (EDT) via TweetDeck

149. Dressing Up a Construction Site http://nyti.ms/cUNnJ5#carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:48:20 (EDT) via TweetDeck

150. Berlin Gives Facelift to Moore Sculpturehttp://nyti.ms/9h4R37 #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:47:38 (EDT) via TweetDeck

151. Peak Performances Announces New Seasonhttp://nyti.ms/byigYu #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:47:06 (EDT) via TweetDeck

152. Hungary Is Sued Over Large Holocaust Art Claimhttp://nyti.ms/bnr6M0 #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:46:39 (EDT) via TweetDeck

153. @JHerbertArtist She’s the only writer working for the NY Times who would ever write a feature about Dan Colen for GagosianThu Sep 09 2010 23:46:15 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to JHerbertArtist

154. @JHerbertArtist She is the whore of the rich and she just annointed Dan Colen in the NY Times.Thu Sep 09 2010 23:45:09 (EDT) via TweetDeck in reply to JHerbertArtist

155. ‘New Photography 2010’ Coming to MoMAhttp://nyti.ms/9Robkt #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:44:34 (EDT) via TweetDeck

156. Boon For Broad Museum: Millions From Developershttp://nyti.ms/a7PKKs #carolvogelThu Sep 09 2010 23:44:04 (EDT) via TweetDeck

157. At Cosmopolitan Resort in Las Vegas, Yoko’s on Viewhttp://nyti.ms/ah5u2C #carolvogel #dancolen11:43 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

158. Tate Modern Expands, Despite Economy http://nyti.ms/cJr1L3#carolvogel11:42 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

159. Art Team Represents U.S. at 2011 Venice Biennalehttp://nyti.ms/9GzMI9 #carolvogel11:42 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

160. ‘Divine Comedy’ Exhibition at Sotheby’shttp://nyti.ms/9abbFK #carolvogel11:41 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

161. Art Collection To Be Sold http://nyti.ms/cfW2Xd11:40 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

162. Carol just wrote a long article about Dan Colen. Before you read it, let’s look at Carol Vogel’s history in the arts. You be the judge.11:39 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

163. Now, twitter, pay attention. I am going to be here for awhile. Unfollow at any point. The subject is Carol Vogel.11:38 PM Sep 9th via TweetDeck

The goal of the game is relatively simple, get your work in to Met and make history.You need to follow a path through the art world from an MFA program towards recognition, representation, and museum exhibitions while picking up some supporters along the way who will help propel you into history.Like the real art world, whether your in or out is largely out of your control.We’ll assume you have some modest talent, but making history requires a lot of luck.The only decisions you have to make along the way are which paths to try to get ahead, whether or not to drink, and how you can best use your supporters influence to advance your career, the rest is either luck or chance, depending on your outlook on life. You can also play the ‘Bitter Version’ by following the suggestions for modifying the game play. Also, feel free to make your own supporters and new INS and OUTS. There’s at least 197 other collectors who matter and shit loads of ins and outs. Good luck.

The Game Play

1. Determining the order of the players:
2. Hottest player at the table selects their MFA program first
3. Youngest player selects second
4. Richest player selects third
5. Meh. You’re in the game, loser.
6. On the way to ®ecognition:
7. Each player gets one per turn round.
8. Advance your circle forward to the first circle on the path to representation. Roll one or two die to see whether your IN or OUT.You will either go forward, backward, lose turns, or in some cases, end up in New Jersey teaching.
9. Note: Whoever starts at Pratt can take one “backdoor” roll before they leave the relative safety of grad school.
10. Getting ®ecognition:
11. The first player who advances to ‘®ecognition’ can roll 2 dice (or the sum of 3 single roles) to determine who their first supporter will be.You can roll for a CRITIC at this early stage of your ‘career’.You might get lucky and get a power card, but not all of them are that helpful.In fact, you might have to make a deal later on or get into a third museum.
12. CRITIC Values:

1.Roberta Smith = 3, 5

2.Jerry Saltz = 4, 10, 7

3.Christian Viveros-Faune = 6, 11

4.James Kalm = 12, 8

5.Power Card: Hans Ulrich Obrist = 2

1. AIM Program and Biennial Rolls: You can choose one shortcut roll to make when you reach ®ecognition, but not if you get sent back.
2. NOTE: You can only call upon discretionary powers once per Game and you may use them immediately after determining your first supporter.Follow instructions for roll based bonuses.James Kalm’s power may be used each time another player gets into a museum, including the Met.
3. From ‘®ecognition’ you need to choose a gallery to advance towards.Unlike real life, you cannot lose your recognition but outs can send you all the way back to the ® circle.If you want to play the “Bitter Version”, outs can send a player all the way back to the steps of their graduate schools.In real life it usually happens when you buddy up with a professor who does you a favor and gets you a job.
4. Getting a Gallery: If the supporter is already occupied you can BEG the player to let you share the supporter or take the supporter with the closest numerical value.
5. If you ever advance to a gallery, roll for your new supporter

i.COLLECTOR Values:

1.David Ganek = 2, 5

2.Aby Rosen = 3, 6, 9

3.Agnes Gund = 4, 7, 10

4.Peter Norton8, 12

5.Power Card: Larry Gagosian=11

1. If you have gotten to Gavin Brown’s Enterprise you may make ONE poached roll when you arrive.If you get a 3 and a 4 you may advance to Gagosian Gallery.You may stay at Gavin Brown and take on Inside Job roll per turn if you’re a scumbag, but nobody will judge you I’m sure.
2. Getting a Museum:
3. If you somehow manage to advance to a museum before you pass out from doing shots, chugging beers, or doing lines off your iPhone, you may select your third supporter, a curator.

i.CURATOR Values:

1.Nancy Spector = 3, 5

2.Klaus Von Biesenbach = 4, 9

3.Richard Flood = 7, 11

4.Donna De Salvo = 10, 12

5.Power Card: Nicholas Bourriaud (BORE•ee•oh) = 2

1. Getting into a second museum:
2. It should be relatively easy to get into a second museum now that you’re an art star, or you decided to conquer the outer boroughs.You may indeed now roll for another supporter of your choosing.You have some power.
3. NOTE: If you want to play the ‘bitter version’, you may continue to take over museums before anyone else can get to them and effectively win the game that way without ever getting into the Met.
4. Getting into the Met:
5. So you’ve done everything you’re supposed to do, right?You have recognition (or skipped it!), a gallery, at least two museums, and a critic, a collector, and a curator behind you, BUT there is no PATH to the Met.How do you get in and make history?I have no fucking idea.It’s really, really hard.In fact, you, the players, need to figure that out. Here’s a couple of suggestions.

i.Take a vote! Use a secret ballot andwrite IN or OUT on a little piece of Rail and throw them in a hat or something to determine if the player is worthy of making history.Hopefully, you have been nice to your fellow players and not belittled their futile attempts at negotiating the art world.

ii.Determine your own Auction Value by calling the value of a roll.You have a 1 in 6 shot of getting it right.You can try once per round.

iii.Fuck it, no one can stop you.You’ve won.Argue like hell with the other players that it’s the only fair way to end the game. Try and convince them the art world is really a fair, balanced, and reasonable place.

iv.Bribery.Divide up whatever cash you have and give it to the other players.

v.‘Bitter Version’ Don’t do anything.You’ll never know if you make history, because you’ll be dead.

Get a hole punch and make a bunch of little circles by punching holes in the Brooklyn Rail.Start with the Art Seen Section.You’ll need about twenty to play the game. Hopefully, you counted the number of steps you will have to take from each MFA program. James Kalm’s power may be used each time another player gets into a museum, including the Met. Image: The Game, graphite on paper, 2010. Courtesy of the artist The Brooklyn Rail

Image: Tips For Artists Who Want To Sell, Silkscreen on paper, 2010

I’ve had a few meltdowns on Twitter lately over the tweets people have been posting while they watch Bravo’s Work of Art. The snark invades, despite my efforts not to watch the show. The artists, bloggers, and critics all seem to have outsmarted the poor bastards on the game show. Indeed, many of the comments are funny and probably more entertaining than the show itself, which I stopped watching after episode 4. I have to admit I only saw the first episode because @c-monstah invited me to the debut screening at the WNYC studios in Manhattan. As soon as Simon De Pury croaked his first bon mot out his nose, I knew I wouldn’t be watching the show. It was painful to watch someone like De Pury shamelessly perform for a cable TV audience. I mean he’s used to sucking up to rich people endlessly, I just never thought I’d see him get on his knees for a tv show. I doubt anyone else felt the kind of humiliation I experienced watching Jerry Saltz demean himself by seriously considering the undergrad, all-nighters the kids slapped together. I guess Jerry has a lot of practice as a professor and visiting critic. So, this isn’t a critique of the show’s trajectory or individual episodes. I didn’t see it, and I don’t want to. This is my personal rant, my inner monologue about the show, which has received spectacular interest in the art world. A few months ago Jerry praised my work, but watching that first episode, I felt like the floor was falling out from underneath me. I wanted to crawl out of the room and hoped Jerry wouldn’t embarrass himself or be embarrassed by the show’s producers searching for the dramatic hook to captivate audiences. My inclusion on his top 10 list started feeling more like an anchor around my ankle than a life raft in the art world. After that, I watched the next three episodes with artist Jennifer Dalton and some friends at her house in Brooklyn. I drank a six-pack trying to sit through them. I mean, I wish we had been drinking whiskey for at some point the laughter died and the formulaic nature of the show, the manufactured drama, and the bad art made the extended viewing seem like a punishment for not keeping up on a weekly basis. When we had finished episode 4, I felt like it was 7 am and the coke had run out at a rather dull party. No one really wanted to talk about it, and I went home feeling disconcerted. Jen merely said something like “Well, I wanted to like it,” and frowned. She had been hopeful that the show would help middle America better understand contemporary art or what we have devoted nearly all of our adult lives to. Still, I couldn’t really articulate why I hated the show so much when people asked. Individually, each episode wasn’t terrible. The contestants tried to do something within a hilariously limited amount of time in an artificial situation. I’ve spent more time sitting in my studio staring at the wall than they had to do all their projects, combined. When I watched the episodes continuously, I really did not want to watch anymore, and I haven’t. The thing was, I couldn’t just ignore the fucking show. Everyday, someone would mention something about #workofart on twitter and on Wednesday night the fucking twitterverse lit up with inane observations and chatter about who was doing what, who was wearing what, what idiocy had been perpetrated, or if Skelator, er, Jaclyn had popped her fake tits out. The art world’s guilty obsession bled into every conversation, online and off that I was having. Nobody was riveted by the crap the contestants were producing, but far more interested in their relationships and personalities. Paddy Johnson, @artfagcity, and Carolina Miranda, @cmonstah, morphed from witty, sarcastic art world ass-kickers into something far worse; witty, sarcastic cheerleaders. Their participation in adding to the cacophony around the show disheartened me. It’s not so much about what they said (they are both excellent comedians), but that they were so engaged by something that made everything about art feel cheap and thin like worn polyester. I mean, my first instinct is to say ‘well, most of the art world is cheap and thin like worn polyester,” but it’s not. The stakes in this game have always been high, for some it concerns money that makes Abdi’s 100k look like chump change and for others powerful reputations, careers, and, well, money. For me, it’s just my life. This isn’t a career for me. It really is everything. Beneath the humor, the meta-commentary, and ironic devices there is rage, despair, joy, love, and a working philosophy about engaging the world. My drawings are warped, funhouse mirrors meant to trap all the fucked up shit that pops into my head and distort it into something people can look at without getting upset. Well, most people. Pissing of some people can’t be avoided including Jerry and everyone on Work of Art in this particular case. I’d rather Jerry be angry than sad, which only reinforces my ambivalence about the impact of the show. In the past, Paddy has given me shit for making art about the art world. Once she described me as producing the closest thing to ‘fan art’ out there. So, imagine my surprise when Paddy in her role as @artfagcity began fawning over this fucking show in full-on “I like reality TV” mode by ingratiating herself with the show’s followers. Not only was Paddy twittering during the show, she wrote weekly recaps. I haven’t read any. It’s pretty much one of the main reasons I don’t read her blog anymore. Sorry, Paddy, it became another reminder that the show was out there. Perhaps now, I can visit AFC again without seeing what happened to Miles. Cmonstah also tried to make fun of the show, I guess, but this is the part the makes me fucking irate. No matter how snarky you are, how witty you are, how mean-spirited you get, or how much you complain about the show, it doesn’t matter. If I complain about the show to people, “It’s a complete bullshit and a really bad representation of contemporary art,” they look at me like I’m some fucking elitist asshole who can’t relate to normal people and just accept the show. When they look at me their expression says “Look asshole, life is hard and I’m tired. I want to watch something stupid and feel good about myself or just not have to think too hard before I go to bed and get up for work at my boring, soul-sucking job in midtown or at this deadly museum. It’s just TV.” It’s just TV. The sarcastic LIFE Magazine profile about Jackson Pollock was just an article too, and it transformed his career in a way that the paintings alone hadn’t been able to do. As the summer wore on I wished I could just say, “fuck it. It’s the Jersey Shore of the art world,” and watch the show. The problem is, I can’t. It’s not really the show I’m pissed about. I’m pissed off by it’s very existence and the promise it offers its contestants. I’m sure you all understand the basic fucking premise of the show; respond to an assignment, win, and get a 100k and a museum show. Sweet. All you have to do is crank out some art that is marginally less terrible than what everyone else is making. It’s not that you actually have to make anything good. My friend Letha used to explain that meeting the hottest guy in a bar is always a relative proposition. Sometimes, she would take home the hottest guy in the bar and still be making out with an ugly motherfucker. Despite this, and unlike the broader market where critics can ignore mediocre and bad work and collectors can chose not to buy it, someone had to win the show by default. It would have been way riskier and far more interesting if there was no guarantee anyone could win if the work wasn’t good enough. I think this one of the most obvious flaws in comparing the show to life. In fact, even the losers on the show are still winners if we count recognition as a form of payment. Anyway, when I started to reflect on why a show I wasn’t watching and why it was making want to get violent and fight strangers, it started to dawn on me how closely the model of the show and everything about it reminded me of the worst aspects of the art world and America. First, the notion that some random fucks, chosen by a highly questionable jury, win the fucking lotto to get on the show with portfolios that wouldn’t have gotten them into Scope is problematic enough. The producers had also reached out to artists with representation, including myself, which undermined the underdog nature of the show. I’m sure some of the contestants were straight off the street hopefuls, but I bristled that Bravo was out there looking for personalities that might be ‘combustible’ or manufacture the appropriate amount of drama. Reality. Right. Does reality need ‘producers’? I hate the word ‘reality’ TV and wished that even one of the participants had found a way to undermine that concept, or at least challenge it. So, yes, I turned down multiple requests to audition in New York. If there had been a little more time I was working with a Belgian actor to audition in my place, in character, but he was in Europe. The problem was manifold though. Would Bravo own my character at the end of the show? They own all the other art the contestants made. That character, an idea, has been central to my practice. Who owns the ideas? That Bravo reduced art to series of BFA level challenges was arguably the most artificial and insulting part of the show for me. I mean, beyond the fact they have an absurd shooting schedule and severe time restrictions. On his FB page, @Jerrysaltz asked his thousands what challenges they would issue. OK. So, let’s just get this fucking straight. Would it be cool if I just went on my FB page and asked “Hey kids, what should I do next?” Of course fucking not, it’s the central challenge for an artist. “What the fuck do I do?” There is an army of talented artists out there, and you can find a platoon of them working for Jeff Koons, who have awesome skills, but the biggest struggle facing an artist is individuating themselves from the masses and finding a reason to employ their abilities. “Hmmm, I can do anything I want, but, uh, shit…” I am fucking insulted that the producers of Work of Art and that witch-hooker Sarah Jessica Parker couldn’t come up with some format for the show where the artists had to do their own fucking thing, and let the judges…wait, who the fuck is Bill Powers? Where is the Half-Gallery? I wouldn’t ask that fucker to interpret the second hand on my watch…actually engage in some critical analysis and consider every aspect of the work, not just if it met some absurd pre-existing conditions. But no, we get the contestants making fucking book covers and interpreting what it feels like to drive a luxury, product placement car? Fuck you Audi you fucking pieces of shit. Fuck all art cars; BMW included. I will never ‘design’ a car or a yacht. I might piss on one, but that’s it. While the challenges make me irate and are the most unrealistic thing about the show (and don’t compare it to Project Runway, since it’s more likely than not that the designers will end up working for someone else and executing their ideas), artists don’t get fucking challenges. We call that illustration, commercial work, or being an artist’s assistant like Jaclyn. I wonder if she’s back at Koons’ studio working on his ideas? Anyway, the challenges themselves only serve to do the thing that makes me want to jump off a fucking cliff. They are the shitty vehicle that enables one lucky patsy, and in this case Abdi who seems like an affable kid, to experience a simulation of art stardom, to be an instant sensation. If Starbucks can make instant brew, Bravo can make an art star, of course. I can’t help but see the show offering a compressed, flawed version of art stardom; a rapid ascent, a vast payday, instant entrance into museums and institutions, and some amount of broader public awareness (I won’t call it fame. Most of America doesn’t know who the fuck Jeff Koons is. Abdi, Miles, and Peregrine probably have more useful celebrity than Koons for about six months). Success in the shows terms seems flimsy and tawdry in comparison to say the career trajectory of Dana Schutz or Jules DeBalincourt ( I mean they are talented and have good ideas right?). I will never stop being fascinated by them. They both have talent yet I find them to be derivative painters who won the art lotto and filled the darling spots at the beginning of the boom era. Comparatively, Abdi is something of the butt of a protracted joke, a novelty coughed up by produced television, it’s way too edited and manipulated to suggest it’s anything other than a mocumentary using non-actors to play the pre-assigned clichés. I don’t know how Abdi’s show will look, and I’m not judging his work here. I just know it will be difficult to shake the feeling that everything is covered in a faint layer of perspiration and a greasy residue like the inside of an OTB or a Greyhound bus bathroom (If you’ve never had the pleasure you’re probably not reading this so fuck you). The veneer of dignity has already been stripped away by the profit-whores at Bravo who have reduced the activity everyone involved has dedicated years to into tidy, fifty-minute episodes. What scares me most about this, this blackhole of terror that opens up in my chest, is that there is no dignity to art, to this career, and that the whole thing is a terribly produced ‘show’ that is always already rigged and that no matter how hard I work, I will always be a middle class loser without the right fucking pedigree to suck on Bonami’s cock. I also quiver in terror when I think about all the artists out there laughing their collective ass off at Miles’ ass or Skelator (see I can’t resist either), because I wonder how many of those same fuckers would shed their dignity like Jerry to get on TV. What bullshit excuse would they use to achieve the sort of cognitive dissonance that would allow them to become the butt of a weekly, nationally televised joke. Or perhaps even worse, all the artists laughing at the contestants believe they can laugh at them on TV because at least they aren’t actually on the show. No, they are just watching TV, risking nothing. I mean, if they could just get their own break, they would be successful too, but of course, they’d never risk their own dignity by actually being on the show. I sense a kind of hypocrisy, even in myself, when I consider how people love to take a piss on the show, when they don’t have a fucking pot themselves. I turned down the opportunity to audition for the show because it seemed like something that would be fun to watch someone else do, but there was no way I was going to destroy what little integrity I had in not taking things seriously. What Ken Johnson said about Jen Dalton is how I think about what I do, “taking not being serious seriously” (paraphrasing), and if I’m going to destroy my career, I want to do it on my own terms, not making money for NBC Universal and Bravo. We used to talk about the mother of all capitalist art fears, ‘commodification’, where any idea or critique is simply absorbed by the market. In this case, it’s not a particular artist like Murakami who tried to swallow the market and ended up in its belly anyway but the claim to art itself. It’s like watching the ‘art market’ get chewed up by a bigger cultural fish, ‘the entertainment industry’ and turned into a giant advertising product meant to deliver an audience to the real consumer, the advertisers and sponsors. I’m pleased Christopher Knight posted a link to Richard Serra’s video “Television Delivers People”, which reminded me of what I was witnessing. What makes art potentially radical is just neutered for the sake of showing an understandable process to deliver the numbers of viewers. Apparently it has worked. Season 2 is starting to cast and another batch of artists will compete again for some quick cash and an instant social/professional network earned in a fucked-up, truncated version of reality compressing years of hard work, ass-kissing, struggle, and sacrifice into a month. Again, a totally unrealistic lotto system based on physical appearance, personality, age, gender as much as whatever artistic merit is presented/sold to the public as a viable alternative to the struggle of making it as artist. I mean a viable alternative to having a trust fund. As for @Jen_Dalton’s optimism that the show “would help educate people about contemporary art,” Work of Art also serves to remind me that I, and art, have failed to approach anything remotely radical in decades. Thinking about the 52% of Californians who voted for Proposition 8 or fundamentalist beliefs in ‘intelligent design’ also remind me that there are ideas, beliefs, and perspectives to which I am not tolerant. This intolerance is based on a reaction to traditional thought that eschews science, logic, and reason for faith and pseudo-science. The defense of the tradition becomes paramount to any realistic concerns. I also don’t like the way that Work of Art makes art safe and sanitized for the masses by relying on cliché and tradition. It’s like calling McDonald’s food. Sure, as the lowest common denominator, it qualifies, but it’s not what we aspire to. Work of Art makes art appear safe, professional, and full of fucking morons talking gibberish about nothing. I’d rather sit through an hour long lecture series on Altermodernism subtitled in English every week than watch Work of Art. At least I might learn something or experience an idea that will challenge my ideas about what is possible in art. Nothing I’ve seen or heard about Work of Art suggests that possibility even exists. No, instead, I am left feeling depressed about art. It looks ugly, cheap, and I feel like we all, not just Abdi or Miles or Skelator, are jumping around like clowns for rich assholes. And it’s not just the contestants that are also experiencing some d-list celebrity status. In their temporary TV fame, I see my own shallow, ugly reflection staring back at me. It reminds me of the ever-increasing up tick of twitter followers and little messages from the tumblr bot, or looking at peaks of Google hits in analytics amid the long, desolate stretches of insignificance. The feeling of being desired or recognized is a powerful thing, and on most days, I can tell myself “It’s because of the work you’ve done,” not the personality projected during a few hours of reality tv. On other days, that nagging sense of desolation brought on by the warm, lazy reception of Work of Art is that I am failure, just another shitty hack producing ‘symbolic representations of radical thought’ or being yet another symbolic pressure-release valve for radical thought, instead of being genuinely radical. So maybe the joke is on all of us, for accepting art as a closed set of predetermined relationships calculated and influenced to produce a single outcome. Or it’s a joke because it is so much like art itself. As Jerry Saltz pointed out “the work on our show isn’t much better or worse than what I see in Chelsea”. Maybe it’s not the show I am disappointed in, but myself and everyone else in the art world.